


I Can't Ask For Things To Be Still Again

by slash4femme



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Breathplay, D/s, M/M, Power Play, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-28
Updated: 2014-03-28
Packaged: 2018-01-17 09:25:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1382359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slash4femme/pseuds/slash4femme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>it's about the coming undone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can't Ask For Things To Be Still Again

**Author's Note:**

> originally written in December 2009
> 
> beta read by [](http://cardiac-logic.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://cardiac-logic.livejournal.com/)**cardiac_logic** who is both wonderful and awesome. I originally posted this as a fill for a prompt over at st_xi_kink_meme.

I.  
Spock is making small keening noises without seeming to realize it, arms braced against the wall of the shower as McCoy thrusts into him, each movement hard enough to push them both bodily forward.

“Damn it . . . Spock.” McCoy bites Spock hard on the shoulder, ramming himself forward with almost violent force, and Spock makes that small keening noise again, tilting his head back so that the hot water pours directly on his face. Shivers rack through his body, both of pleasure and a little bit of fear and McCoy groans at the sight, one hand coming around Spock’s body to jerk him off just as harshly as he’s fucking into him. The other hand slides up the back of Spock’s neck to tangle in his hair, pulling Spock’s head back until it’s resting against McCoy’s shoulder, and McCoy’s hand closes around Spock’s throat, pressing hard but precisely until Spock’s eyes close and his lips part, and McCoy presses a little harder, and Spock chokes and tries to breathe and can’t. Water is pounding down on their bodies, against Spock’s upturned face into his mouth. McCoy holds the pressure on Spock’s throat firm and steady until Spock’s whole body is jerking and he’s coming with a soundless scream. McCoy lets go of Spock’s throat immediately, his own hips jerking out of control as he comes.

Spock hits the controls to turn off the water and they both slide down to the floor of the shower in a twisted heap and lie together panting. Finally, though, they both get out, drying each other off, kissing slowly and lazily before making their way to the bedroom.

For a little while they lie together in bed talking quietly about their day. Spock has his head pillowed on McCoy’s wide chest and McCoy idly runs his fingers through Spock’s still damp hair.

“It arouses you, doesn’t it?” McCoy finally says softly and kisses along one of Spock’s elegant ears, “The fear. I know you’re terrified of water on your face.”

He expects Spock to tell him he’s not afraid because fear is an emotion; instead Spock pulls back a little to look up at him. “It arouses you as well,” Spock states evenly, “being able to control my fear, where and when I am afraid.”

McCoy sighs, running one hand up Spock’s back to cradle the back of his head, but doesn’t deny it. “Trying to make up for all those times you’re afraid and I can’t do a damn thing about it,” he says finally, kissing Spock’s hair, and Spock pulls him a little bit closer.

“I have a suggestion for a sexual activity I would find most satisfactory,” Spock finally says, and it’s McCoy’s turn to quirk an eyebrow.

“Oh?”

“Erotic asphyxiation through submersion in water,” Spock says, his voice very matter-a-fact, and McCoy actually sits up, pushing him away a little to look at him.

“Are you sure?”

Spock looks sure but he also nods, and McCoy watches him closely. He’s ok with the breath play. It’s been a pretty constant part of their sex life since McCoy discovered there was pretty much nothing that made Spock come faster than having the living daylights choked out of him. He also feels pretty good about his ability to control the breath play and keep the situation safe and under control. This is totally different, though; he won’t be able to control this in the same way, and with Spock’s fear of water, it becomes much more dangerous a situation.

“I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that,” he says finally, even though the images it’s conjuring up in his head are incredibly arousing. Spock watches him for a long minute, then nods.

“Of course we will not do anything you are uncomfortable with, Leonard.” McCoy reaches out and pulls him close again and Spock traces feather light Vulcan kisses across McCoy’s neck and chest until they both fall asleep.

 

II.  
McCoy really doesn’t think it’s a good idea, but the image of what it might look like to hold Spock underwater until he stops being able to breathe haunts him. He finally gives up and does some research over his lunch break and then while he eats dinner alone, due to the large workload in the science labs. He finally makes his decision.

When Spock gets back to their rooms that night he looks incredibly exhausted. McCoy comes to him immediately and kisses him deeply, pulling him close, one hand around his waist, the other tangled in the other man’s hair. He pulls on Spock’s hair a little as he kisses him and is rewarded by Spock opening his mouth wet and needy under McCoy.

“I’ve been thinking about what you wanted,” McCoy tells him a little breathlessly when he pulls away. “About the breath play in water.” Spock tenses a little under his hand but McCoy judges that it’s not in a bad way. “I think we can give it a try.”

“Tonight?” Spock looks up at him and McCoy nods and kisses just under one of Spock’s ears.

“If you’re not too tired.”

“No, tonight should be acceptable,” Spock says almost too quickly and pulls McCoy into another long kiss. Spock’s body is tense under McCoy’s hands, but as he shifts his hip against McCoy’s, McCoy can feel how much Spock wants this, how much the idea of this both terrifies and arouses him. It’s turning McCoy on too, the idea that Spock wants him to do this to him, wants McCoy to both control and take care of him like this, how much Spock trusts him.

McCoy pulls Spock’s shirt off and Spock’s hands go to McCoy’s shirt, pulling both his undershirt and his uniform shirt off in one go. Spock’s nails rake down McCoy’s chest, stopping to pinch McCoy’s nipples painfully hard, and McCoy hisses between clenched teeth leaning into Spock’s touch. McCoy wraps both of his arms around Spock’s waist, kissing him with passion and need, biting at the other man’s lips as he half drags, half carries him into the bathroom. They strip each other, their hands becoming more and more frantic as more skin is revealed, and McCoy tries, as he sometimes does, to remember a time before he had Spock, tries to remember the way he used to be so timid with other lovers. When they are both naked Spock pushes McCoy up against the sink, rutting against him, and bites at his shoulder and chest, leaving angry red marks in his wake, and McCoy’s fingers twist and dig into Spock’s hair, egging him on. They finally break apart long enough so that McCoy can turn on the water to the shower. As the only married, high-ranking crew members aboard, they have been blessed with a large shower with a bathtub setting, which they’ve never used. McCoy flicks it on now, watches the shower floor sink into the floor and reform into a bathtub as the water fills it. Spock’s been looking at the little pile of neatly folded towels which are set next to the shower with a tricorder and oxygen mask sitting on top of them. He raises his eyebrows at McCoy, who shrugs and pulls him into another long, deep kiss. Their hands wander again, pulling, pinching and stroking, and finally McCoy pushes Spock down onto the floor and moves to straddle him, his head between Spock’s thighs, and Spock wiggles around and positions himself so that they can both suck each other at the same time. McCoy sucks Spock’s long cock into his mouth and teases and slaps the skin of his ass as Spock pinches and fondles the loose skin of McCoy’s balls. McCoy hums deep in his throat and Spock bucks up sharply until McCoy’s hands force him back against the floor, and Spock takes McCoy down to the root with an ease that’s kind of scary. It’s good, really good, and McCoy is tempted just to thrust down into the heat of Spock’s throat, lose himself in the taste and smell of him until they both come. That’s not the point here though, and McCoy teases at Spock’s balls as he sucks him hard, rubs at Spock’s hole without penetrating him.

He finally lets Spock fall from his mouth and pushes himself up, and Spock lets him go with a little sigh. McCoy comes to lie on top of Spock on the bathroom floor and kisses Spock’s neck, gently, tenderly, and then presses his hand against it, lightly at first, and kisses across the dark hair on Spock’s chest. Spock writhes against him as McCoy bites down hard on one small, pale green nipple and presses hard against Spock’s slender throat, and Spock’s dick is wet, hot and hard trapped between McCoy’s thighs, leaving wet, sticky marks across the crease of his hip, and McCoy pulls back from the other man’s chest still pressing hard against his throat and kisses him deeply on the mouth as Spock’s lips go slack from lack of oxygen. Then McCoy’s letting go of Spock’s throat, moving them fast and turning Spock over onto his belly and pushing him hard against the edge of the tub, face down into the water. Spock struggles, slowly and clumsily in a way that must be instinctual more than him actually wanting to get away. McCoy’s hands in his hair and on Spock’s back holding him down are firm and controlling, but Spock could easily throw him off if he wanted to and they both know it. Instead Spock is writhing against the floor, his cock leaving sticky streaks against the tile. He’s sweating a lot and his whole body is shaking. McCoy forces Spock’s head to the side, still fully underwater, so he can see Spock’s face, and Spock’s eyes are wide and dilated, and he’s flushed across his face and down his neck. McCoy thinks Spock’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, caught between ecstasy and a panic attack. Spock’s mouth opens to scream and McCoy hauls him up fast. Spock sucks in a long choking gasp of air and comes making a make a high keening noise of pure abandon McCoy’s never heard before, Spock’s body twisting and shuddering against the tiled floor, his come splattering across his own thighs, stomach, and chest, across the floor and McCoy. Spock just keeps coming and jerking, sucking in air like he’s never going to get enough of it. McCoy just gapes at him and Spock’s body finally stops moving. McCoy practically falls on top of him kissing every part of the other man’s body he can reach, fingers twisting tight enough to be painful in Spock’s hair as he thrusts between the other man’s legs against his balls and over-sensitive, softened cock.

“God you’re beautiful . . . you have no idea what you do to me . . . sexy . . .” McCoy growls against Spock’s throat, biting the fragile skin as he comes across Spock’s thighs and stomach. McCoy collapses and they lie together like that until McCoy manages to collect his wits and pushes himself up off the other man.

“You ok?” he asks, his voice still rough, and Spock looks totally blissed-out, there just is no other word for it, eyes still glazed over, and McCoy kisses him gently on the lips then across both cheeks, “Hey sweetheart.” He looks down, starting to get concerned, and Spock finally reacts, reaching one hand up to trace across McCoy’s face.

“I am unharmed, Leonard.”

McCoy sighs, then reaches over and scans him with his medical tricorder just to be sure.

“Am I going to have to carry you to bed?” he asks, and Spock gets to his feet slowly and shakily and McCoy wraps a towel around him and then puts his arms around Spock’s waist and Spock leans heavily against him. They make it into the bedroom and McCoy lays Spock down, then dries him off before climbing into bed and pulling Spock close.

“So we will do this again?” Spock asks, eyes closed, still with that completely overwhelmed look on his face, and McCoy kisses him on the cheek.

“Yeah, darlin’, we’ll do it again.”

Spock does not smile but he does snuggle close to McCoy and trace two fingers across the back of McCoy’s hand. McCoy does smile then and kisses him one last time before they both drift into sleep.


End file.
